In 2021, on my way towards this enormous dream of Peking to Paris, a malignant cancer was found. Why now, of all moments?
With one wall after another coming at me, over and over, I could not file this away as a test set by the gods. I came close to resenting the gods themselves.
Finding out about the cancer by the most casual route
One day I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a friend posting cheerfully from a hospital: good food, unhurried hours, a full medical check-up with lovely nurses looking after you.
A full check-up — that sounds fun! Is it different from an ordinary health screening? On a whim that thin, I signed up for one.
Born with the body I have, carrying a chronic condition, and still going strong all these years — surely something to be proud of. It would bestraight A’s, and I would get to say: look at me, I am invincible.That was the idea.
The result was …Lungs, digestive system, urinary tract, breast — four categories, all graded D. Further examination required.
Choosing to live as myself rather than spend the time on treatment
By then I was already running towards the Peking to Paris Motor Challenge. I wanted to take on everything I wanted to do, and I became certain I must not let this chance go.
Simply finding out where I stood was eating money and time at speed, and it made me start asking what, in this life of mine, I seriously wanted to do.
If everyone dies sooner or later, then I will do what I want to do
It took months of struggle to decide that. My doctor’s calling and job, after all, is saving lives; leaving a progressing cancer alone because there is something you want to do is suicide, he said, and he could not accept it. I lost count of the arguments. A nurse sat with me for an hour of counselling. A great many people worried about me.
Twice I was talked round, gave in, booked the surgery — and rang up two days before to cancel.
So many friends were worried that I lied and told them the operation was done and I was fine. My closest friends saw straight through it, of course.
And so here I am, still with no treatment at all, going in every three months only to see how things stand.
But because of that, this past year I have done what I wanted to do at express speed. I was even able to go to three rallies abroad.
Spending what time is left in despair would be a waste. That is exactly why I will not let this chance go.
There is nothing to do but drive.
Why do I keep taking things on?
Because I want to show what is possible, towards a society where the people who feel they want to act are able to act. That is my hope.